Life Comes Rushing Back

The news has gone silent on the NexGens. They gave a brief obit about Brian. Apparently he arrived home dead.

People seem to be breathing easier. The birds are chirping again, or at least I notice them chirping. I can't recall if they had actually stopped . . . I'm rambling. I guess I am still nervous. I just cannot separate myself from what I and millions of other people saw on tv. I cannot flush that image of Brian Clades attacking that EMT. I had hoped that he would be alright. I am sad to know that he isn't.

I can't forget that NexGens are disappearing, their families either dying or vanishing. I don't like that I can't go one day without seeing armored, heavily armed policemen. We are that frog, aren't we? My dad told me that story. If you drop a frog in a boiling pot he'll jump right out. But if you put him in a pot of cold water, and slowly heat it to boiling he'll die with a smile, never having known he was boiled to death.

If we, as a consumer-driven, attention deficit disordered, excuse-making, self-justifying bunch of nut jobs are exposed to something long enough we grow comfortable with it. We don't just tolerate it. We embrace it. And how quickly we forget the past. We forget the fear, the pain, and the very reason we feared. We just let it go, and live life as different creatures than we were before. We are a bit more aware, a tad more cautious, and altogether ignoring the fact that the world has once again changed for the worse.

What is that poem? Alexander Pope wrote it:

Vice is a monster of so frightful mien

As to be hated needs but to be seen;

Yet seen too oft, familiar with her face,

We first endure, then pity, then embrace.

I don't know how applicable it is to what is going on but it is a perfect description of what I am seeing. Life is not like the movies. The disaster doesn't just suddenly hit. It waits, it bides its time, it breathes quietly until the time comes to pounce. It leaves warning signs all over, warning signs the complacent choose to dismiss. I am not complacent, dear diary, I am suspicious. And I am scared.

Signs. You want signs. Armored policemen. Emergency vehicles on patrol. The media being quiet. Above all it's people. We are a species that thrives on false truths. Things are really bad out there on any given day. The only way we keep going is to ignore it, and live the best life we can. Mom told me that sometimes your best is just getting out of bed in the morning. Some mornings I believe her.

With that in mind I see people trying way too hard to act like everything is normal. Principle Vasser is even more suspicious and on edge than usual. Today he cracked when he caught Shawn and Trey skateboarding in the halls. He just went off. I didn't let him see me as I watched. What I saw had nothing to do with catching two kids skateboarding in a school, and everything to do with the raw nerves most of us are suffering.

Poor Brian. I pray for his family.