Doesn't matter.
Today I'm going to lose someone.
It began with a contentious morning. I woke with a headache, which is always a bad sign. Dad was worried. He said I wasn't hydrating like I should. I told him I was tired of taking a leak every ten minutes, and stormed off. I don't like hurting the man. We're all lonely here. Who else do we have but each other? And here I am being a jerk.
I went up the ladder to the second floor making a racket so everyone could know that Martin was unhappy, especially Daisy. She needed to be put in her place, whatever that means. Even though Mom is quiet, and inherently timid she rules this roost. Dad has a strong character, but it's Mom who commands the army. Her subtlety is something I admire. In that respect I never could comprehend this place everyone talks about. But suddenly Daisy needed to be in hers.
I reached the top floor, and caught Daisy leaving Scott's room. I paused. That devil fire raged up inside me.
As she took a step into the hall his hand shot out and grabbed her wrist. She squeaked, then twirled around. I ducked even lower. The house was dark enough I didn't present much of a silhouette. He pulled her to him, and gave her a . . . not-friend kiss right on those perfect lips.
Oh the denial came. The pain. The anguish. I climbed slowly back down the ladder, like someone had placed 100 pounds on my shoulders. My legs shook as I touched feet to floor. I could feel Dad watching me as I walked past. I went into the garage.
Terrible acoustics in here. I couldn't wail or scream at anyone. Quietly, stupidly, I unbarred the door and walked out. That full sun hit my headache like an icepick to the brain. Instant nausea punched my guts up right through the mouth.
The tears came. I ran.
Geez I ran.
I ran to the only green left in this valley, that haunt of woods my Dad and I had trekked through when all this started. I just wanted to be alone, maybe throw some rocks, and dip my head in the stream until the cold numbed my skull. That was if the water was clean. I don't know why it wouldn't be with everyone dead or missing. No one left to pollute. I reached the shade of the grove, my breath ragged in the windpipe. It was burning. I needed a drink, some peppermint, anything to rid me of this taste. Fifty yards in I came to the stream.
It smelled clean, like fresh earth after rain. I breathed the smell. It reminded me of Daisy. A dream. Stupid kid. Of course it was Scott. Good looking guy, sweet, suave, and genuine. Guilt. I felt terrible. Since she walked into my room I hadn't been genuine at all. Here I was, sitting on the banks of this stream, the dappled sunlight lighting the scene enough to hurt, but not enough to aggravate my head. And all around me the peril of the walking dead. My senses were destroyed, or hypersensitive, my emotions whipped into a frenzy, my ears were ringing . . . how was I supposed to know.
*snap*
The world froze. Something stepped on that stick. I rose to my feet. Too quickly. The thin canopy overhead swirled. I went to a knee, and reached for my gun.
No gun.
I reached for my sock.
No knife.
I patted my back pockets. Nothing. Stupid!
Think! Think!
So hard to think.
I scrunched my eyes shut. Stick. Sharpen the stick. No knife! Sharpen on rock. What rock? All sand! Break it for a sharp point.
Stick. Stupid, nauseous, angry, bitter, contemptuous, scared, with my pulse pounding through my skull I found a heavy bough and kicked it in half. It came away with a sharp enough point. My choice was to run. But where? I didn't know if that sound had come from behind, ahead, to my left. I stood and waited, fighting the urge to vomit.
*snap*
The bough felt heavy in my hand. I could do some damage with it. I looked down the trail I had come through. A figure moved toward me, clearing the branches out of its way. My vision blurred. I couldn't see it. I waited. I was going to face it head on. I didn't feel like hiding. I swallowed bile.
"Come on." I seethed, "Make me bloody. Guts all over the ground. Come on." Anything but this.
The figure cleared the last bit of brush.
Zed.
An old one, his skin a dark purple leather pulled over his skull, an eternal grin on his face from lack of lips. In the fold of one eye socket I caught a glint of flesh. Maybe it still had an eye. An eye I could stick this bough into. I shook my head.
It opened its maw, and made toward me, arms reaching, clawing. The remains of its left hand were skeletal, brown, and sharp. He had a weapon of his own.
I stood my ground.
All the frustration, confusion, and aggravation came to the surface. I screamed a primal scream from a part of me I never knew existed. I almost laughed when the Zed seemed to back off for a second, and consider the situation.
I charged.
I blacked out.
What a blissful nothing. Time stopped. The rage ceased. My mind closed like a door. After a few moments I heard some thudding, and knocking.
I came back to my senses, covered in brown muck and beating the corpse of the Zed into a disgusting pulp. Its bones protruded from what was left of its flesh. The skull had been caved in. He was nothing. Brown pudding.
I was breathing hard, my pulse hammering through my body. I backed away, and sat hard on my butt. My headache was gone.
A crashing through the brush caught my attention as Daisy ran into the clearing. She stopped, gasped when she saw me, sitting on my haunches, my gore-covered bough beside me like a scepter of death. She jumped when she saw the corpse.
Still breathing hard, I smiled at her.
Suddenly it didn't matter she was making out with Scott. In an instant I had forgiven her. I felt no more worm in my guts, no more confusion. Actually it was quite clear.
"You never did like me, did you? Not like that?"
Her eyes wide she looked at me. I could hear the ten different things she wanted to say whirling behind her eyes. All she managed was, "No."
I nodded, "I'm sorry. I was stupid." I put my hand out to her, "Hi. I'm Martin."
She wrinkled her nose at me, smiling. I forgot for a second I was covered in Zed guts. I looked down at my hand, then down at the congealing mess.
"When I get upset in the future I can just go find one of these and beat it to goo."
She laughed.
"Come sit with me." I said.
"We should go."
"Please." I waved her over. She sat a few feet from me.
I smiled, "What are you doing here?"
"We're all looking for you. You just stormed off. You don't even have your gun, do you?"
"No." I answered, waving the stick at her. I looked at the Zed for a long time. "We all die." I said.
She seemed upset by that remark, "What's that supposed to mean?"
"Sitting out here, where any Zed can get us. It matters very little. We're all dead anyway."
"That's morbid."
"Sorry." I said. I heaved a sigh, out of relief more than anything else. The adrenaline was still coursing through my veins, delicious, satiating - relieving. I smiled at her. I couldn't help it.
"Scott's my best bud." I said, "He's kind, strong, pure . . ."
I saw the tear fall from her cheek before she sniffed. Once again my mind went into high gear. He had hurt her, he had broken up with her - she actually had feelings for me . . .
"What's?" I asked.
She shook her head. Then dropped the neck of her shirt, almost exposing a full breast. I saw then.
She had been bitten. Not deep. Not hard. Only one fanged tooth had penetrated her skin, and that not very far. From that infected spot spread a bright red and purple flower of veins. I got up and walked to her.
"May I?" I asked. Man. Awkward.
I didn't touch her. I meant no disrespect, but I gave the wound a long look. My heart broke. I almost heard it.
"What does it mean?" I asked.
She covered herself, "It means I'm dead. And it means that unless . . ." she choked, "Somehow my brain gets destroyed when I die, I will be coming back. But not as me. Not as me."
"I am so sorry." I said, "I'm sorry I stink." I could really smell myself now. I laid in the stream, just dipped myself in it. It was so cold it stole the breath from my lungs, made me gasp and grunt for breath. I laughed. I looked over at Daisy. She recovered a small twinkle in her eye, gave me a half smile. Better than nothing. I scrubbed my skin with mud. My shirt was hopeless. I took it off and flung it into the forest. I rinsed, my pale, freckled skin going beet red with the chill. I trudged out of the water, saddened, but happy to be clean.
I held a clean hand out to Daisy, and helped her up. We walked into the woods.
"What are you going to do?" I asked.
She shrugged, and shook her head.
"What can I do?" she said, fresh tears flowing from her eyes, "If I stay with your family, with Scott, I'm a threat. If I leave the protection of the house, I face them." She stopped, "I don't even know how long this is going to take."
"Well," I said, trying to sound hopeful, "Who's to say it will happen at all?"
"The other group I was with," she said, "Scavengers. Killers most of them. They called this a slow burn. If it gets into your blood, you die. You come back. Period."
That sounded final. I scratched my head. I looked around. I squinted into the distance like I was trying to see something. I sucked at consolation.
"What can I do for you Daisy?" I asked.
"I won't ask anyone to kill me." she said. Then she didn't talk anymore.
When we got home, I watched as she packed her bedding out to the garage. Scott went wild when he found out. He wouldn't leave her. I tried to apologize for being a jerk, but he blew me off. Can't say I blame him. I just stood to the side. He spent the night out there with her. Neither Mom nor Dad held any sway over that decision.
I didn't sleep well. I kept seeing Scott sleeping soundly next to her, while she changed in the middle of the night. She wakes for a second time, sits up, turns to Scott, and has her first meal. I don't know how he did it.
Well, I guess understand a little.
I was wrong. I didn't lose someone that day.
I lost two people. Sometime in the night Daisy left. Scott went with her. It was always quiet in this house, but now it was as still as a tomb. Reality needs to take another vacation. This is hard.
Art courtesy of artboy: http://forum.expressobeans.com/viewtopic.php?f=32&p=765785
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